so I wrote a fic about Ed being neurodivergent. But neurodivergence wasn't really discovered back then, so he's not having a good time (this may or may not be accurate, while I suspect I am neurodivergent in some way I have not been diagnosed) (also this is a parental mustang fic) (both Ed and mustang are probably out of character, but this is my first completed fic and I did my best)
Ever since Ed could remember there was always something a little different about him. Something that people always notice is his hatred of milk. His hatred of milk is often assumed to just be a hatred of the flavor, and now he goes along with it so he doesn't have to explain that it's the texture he dislikes. When he was a kid in the country everyone decided that was just how Ed was. He hated the texture of milk, but that was just Ed. there were other things he struggled with regarding food. Sometimes he’d be happily eating dinner one second, and the next he'd be gagging and rushing to the trash to spit it out, with no other explanation than his body just rejected it. His brain no longer classified it as food. But that was just Ed. he was like that sometimes. Something that people don't notice is when ed hates the texture of an object. That's much harder to explain. Why does Ed avoid these plushies and blankets at all cost? It's because he doesn't like the way they feel, although there was much more to it than that, it's the only way Ed could explain. And the others accepted it, because that's just Ed.Another odd thing about Ed is his obsession with alchemy. He’d read all of the books in Hohenheim's study at least five times each by the age of six, and if you asked him about alchemy he could talk to you for hours! Not that anyone who asked minded, they loved seeing how happy he was when he talked about it. That was just Ed! Hearing this, anyone would think he got good grades at school, after all he seems like quite the little genius, right? No. he often came home with notes saying he was a distraction in class, that he could never sit still, that he’d doodle all over his chalkboard, and that he could get good grades if he could simply just apply himself. Ed was always frustrated with these notes, especially that last one…how could he “apply himself” more when he was already doing his best? While Granny and Mom never did, Ed’s teacher always compared him to Al. Al could sit still during class. Al wasn't a distraction. Al didnt doodle on his chalkboard (after he was told not to at least). Al was always polite. And Al got perfect grades. Ed couldn't help it though, if he wasn't doing something then he couldn't pay attention to the lesson. The books they had to read were hard too, not that Ed was having difficulty understanding the words, but that he would get through a page and find that he didn't remember a single thing that happened in it. But like everything else, that was just Ed. it's how he was, and everyone has their little quirks too, Ed just happened to have a bit more than others. Mom, Granny, Al, and Winry didn't treat Ed differently because of this, they all accepted that it was just how Ed was.
When Ed got his state alchemist’s license and started his journey, it started to feel like it was just Ed who was like that… The “Mandatory fun” nights that the military seemed so fond of weren’t fun for anyone, least of all Ed, who already felt out of place, being the only one there below the age of eighteen. He was one of the few people there that couldn't drink, and it only made it worse when his brain decided that the food he had was no longer edible. He tried to explain the first couple times it happened, but eventually just gave up, and lied about not being hungry anytime that happened. Or the times where he had to share a hotel room with someone, and the blankets were a bad texture. He did try to explain this too, but was brushed off as being some whiny kid. So even if he hated it, and even if it made his skin crawl, and every part of his body was screaming at him to get away from it, he still slept with the blankets, and never brought it up again when this happened. He slept with his coat on though. For the first few months after he became a state alchemist, Ed answered any question about alchemy in the same way he did as a kid, by talking about it for far too long, and while state alchemists are supposed to know about alchemy, it's their job after all, it was known around base that if you asked the Fullmetal alchemist about it, you need to have some free time because he won’t stop talking about it for hours. Ed didn't know this until one day he overheard someone talking about how annoying Ed was. Well, he didn't say Ed specifically, he was annoyed that it took so long to get an answer to a simple question about alchemy, but with how Ed felt hearing that, he may as well have just called Ed an annoying little kid. After that Ed answered alchemy questions quickly and to the point, giving no more information than what was asked for.
When Ed was a little kid in resembool, for the most part he just felt like a regular little kid, the only times he felt different was when his teacher yelled at him. But now he felt more out of place than ever. Like there was something wrong with him, or like he was broken in some way. Why couldn't he eat like everyone else? Why did stupid things like blankets bother him so much when no one else even noticed them? Why couldn't he tell when he was being annoying? Why couldn't he just sit still?
Why couldn't he just be normal?
Tears stung Ed’s eyes as he thought about it, although he’d never let them spill. A voice tore him from his thoughts, bringing him back to the tiny hotel room, the pillow he’d been hiding his face in, and the uncomfortable blankets he'd been avoiding. “Fullmetal, are you ok?” Mustang looked over to him, now showing mild concern. “Yeah I’m fine, why?” Ed hoped to convince the Colonel that he was just tired, although he didn't seem quite convinced. “Do you want a different blanket?” Ed looked up at Mustang, confused why he’d ask something like that, and also a bit embarrassed that he’d noticed Ed’s reluctance to even touch the blanket. “I heard the last time you stayed here you didn't like the blankets. And this time you only touched them with your automail. So do you want a different blanket?” That was two years ago. How did Mustang know about that? He wasn't even there. Did he hear about it then and just remember it all this time? Or did he somehow hear about it after the hotel was booked? “I-” Ed started to speak, but quickly stopped himself. Since when was colonel bastard this nice. If he asked for a different blanket would he think he was just some whiny kid? Would he even get him a different blanket? Would he think it was stupid that Ed cared this much about some dumb blanket? Ed thought it was stupid that he cared this much about some dumb blanket…
“Fullmetal?” Mustang was looking at him.“I-I’m fine! The blanket here is good!” Ed wasn't the best liar, and Mustang could see right through him. “And you’re not just going to use your coat as a blanket after I fall asleep, like last time?” “Uh…” well he hit the nail right on the head with that… Mustang sighed. it was obvious that Ed was uncomfortable with the blankets, but refused to admit it for some reason. “I’m going to go out for a little while, you stay in here, ok, Fullmetal?” Mustang said while putting on his coat, and grabbing one of the room keys.
Ed could tell he did something wrong. He was pretty sure that the Colonel was upset with him, but he wasn't exactly sure why. Even if it was because he lied about the blankets, it caused him less work… “He’s probably just sick of babysitting some problem child..” Ed thought to himself. Of course it was his own fault. Ed didn't need babysitting, and no one asked him to anyway. He and Al could take care of themselves…
Ed’s thoughts were interrupted by the room door opening. Mustang walked into the room holding a much comfier looking blanket than what was in the room. Mustang wordlessly tossed it at Ed, who still wondered why the colonel was doing this…why he seemed to care so much. “You need sleep for this mission. You already don't get the best sleep anyway, and I'd rather it didn't get worse.” Mustang said after noticing Ed’s confusion. Ah…that was the reason…Ed was weirdly…disappointed?...he couldn't say why though..it made sense though….It was also embarrassing that mustang knew about the nightmares…he found out the first time they were forced to share a hotel room…one with more comfortable blankets. “So, why don't you like the blankets?” Ed, already snuggled into new blanket, looked over at Musang with a somewhat conflicted expression “I just-…I don’t-…” a frustrated expression appeared on Ed’s face before he sighed and seemed to have settled on saying “Look, they're just uncomfortable, ok.” “Edward, that’s bullshit and you know it. I’ve seen you used leaves and moss as a blanket before. if it was “just uncomfortable" you'd complain and use the blanket anyway, You wouldn't be trying to hide it and staring at a blanket like it's some kind of venomous snake. So are you gonna tell me what’s got you so freaked out about this?” The bastard clearly knew Ed better than he thought. “Can we just turn the lights off and to bed already? I'm tired.” Mustang sighed and got up “Ok.” he said, turning out the lights.
A few minutes passed, neither of them knew how many, until Ed spoke “Hey, bastard?” “Yes, Fullmetal?” “H-.....Has anyone ever asked you a question that you know if you answer they won't get it, and they might think you sound kinda crazy?” “...”“Colonel?” “Yeah. I think so.”
Ed took a deep breath and seemed to hesitate for a bit, questioning if he really wanted to say this or not. Eventually it seemed he came to a decision. “I-it's not that the blankets are uncomfortable..,well, they are, but it's something…more? Like…it's not painful but…I don’t know. It just feels…Wrong. Like I shouldn't touch it” He sighed “…I don't know. It's stupid.” Mustang looked over at Ed, even if he couldn't see him through the darkness. “Not if it's effecting you this much.” “Huh?” “If it's effecting you like that, it’s not stupid.”
Ed remained quiet for a little while, thinking… “What if it was more than just blankets?..” “Is it more than just blankets?” “....Yeah..” “How much more?” Mustang asked, sitting up and turning on the lamp on his bedside table “It’s food too I guess…but it's different for that.” “In what way?” Ed still looked somewhat reluctant, but spoke anyway “Sometimes I’ll be eating something, and halfway through I guess my body decides that it's not edible anymore…I usually just tell people I'm not hungry though.” “Is there anything else?” Mustang asked, slightly concerned and wondering how long this had been going on for without his knowledge “Um…m-maybe?” Ed said, looking away “I don’t know if it's related..” “Even if it isn't, you can still tell me,” Mustang assured. “I guess I have trouble focusing? It normally helps when I’m doing something, but then it looks like I'm not paying attention, so I don't do that as much…when I was in school I drew stuff, but the teacher didn't like that…” Mustang nodded “If you need to, you can draw when i give you assignments” “Ok” “Is there anything else?” Mustang asked once more “Probably. I dunno. It feels like there’s always something wrong with me.” “There’s nothing wrong with you, kid”
Ed looked up at the Colonel, Tears in his eyes threatening to spill “Are you sure? Because it feels like there is. If there’s really nothing wrong then why can’t I eat normally!!? Why can't I read normally!?! And why is it so hard to sleep with that stupid fucking blanket?!?!”
Mustang walked over and sat next to Ed on the edge of his bed “Like I said, kid, there’s nothing wrong with you, ok? There’s just something a little different. I don’t know exactly how, but there’s nothing wrong, just different.” Ed sniffled a little, seemingly having calmed down a little. “So…I’m not broken?” “No. Of course not” “Ok” There was silence for a little while, other than the occasional sniffle from Edward.
When he was sure Ed had calmed down, Mustang broke the silence and asked “Do you know how long It’s been like this?” “Um…as far back as I can remember…although it almost feels like it’s gotten worse since moving away…I didn't really notice most of it back then” Mustang nodded, although he was a little worried that Ed didn’t tell him any of this over the past two years he’d been in Mustang’s command. He was really hiding it this long… “If it effects you again, and you need help, you can tell me. I’ll help if you need, ok?” Ed looked up at Mustang, looking almost confused “Since when did you care so much?” Mustang never thought he’d say these next words to anyone. “It’s my job to care about this sort of thing. Not only am I your commanding officer, but I was also listed as one of your legal guardians when you joined the military”
Mustang could practically hear Hues celebrating the adoption of his new “nephew”. He just had to make sure Hues never heard that he said that “W-wait! Guardian?!!??” Ed scowled at him. At least he’s feeling better. “Yes, of both you and Alphonse. Did you really think they’d let a twelve year old into the military without a legal guardian’s permission? Without a guardian at all?” “But what about Granny!?! She-” Mustang cut him off “Was not listed as your guardian at the time you signed up for the military. Although I did get her permission. She assumed that you’d get into trouble, and that you’d need a legal adult to help you out of it at some point. I was the one that brought you here, so it fell on me to take care of you two” “W-well if you are listed as my guardian, and you know about everything then I will ask you for help. Not that I need it. I've gotten this far” Ed said, trying to sound confident and somewhat failing at it. “Ok. whenever you need help, you can ask, and I’ll help” a few minutes passed before either said anything. Mustang had home back to his own bed across the room when he heard Ed say, just barely above a whisper
“Promise?” Mustang smiled at him
“Yeah, I promise.”